The Whispers of Purgatory Fire
by Mastrrtt
Summary: Songfic. TigressXPo TigressxWhite Tiger


Once upon a time, there was a white tiger that was tall, handsome, good-looking, and towering in height. He went to the Valley of Peace. He had nothing but the clothes on his back, and an electric guitar he stole from Kanye West. Walking abreast was a goat named Selena Gomez.

They were together but also not really.

Selena was singing about wolves. It went like this:

_"In your eyes, there's a heavy blue_

_One to love and one to lose_

_Sweet Divide, a heavy truth_

_Water or wine, don't make me choose-"_

The next verse was supposed to be sung by the White Tiger, but he could not stand Selena's Voice. He shoved his electric guitar down her throat because she could take it, and then threw her down a river.

Tigress witnessed this, since she was in patrol. She was about to arrest the white tiger until she saw his big, muscular chest and bulging biceps the size of Rihanna's forehead. His lips were a succulent black. His ass was humongous, and it was the type of ass she's balance her dinner tray and eat on. His neck was so manly, the carotid arteries were popping and she just wanted to place a hickey on it. His toes were plump and she wanted each one to get shoved up her ass. His eyes were individually blessed by the purest of angels, and was a mirage of yellow glow. His head was large, probably because his frontal lobe, parietal lobe, temporal lobe, occipital lobe, cerebellum, brain stem, hippocampus, hypothalamus, thalamus, midbrain pons medulla, and spinal cord are so large that typical heads just can't have the capacity to hold that type of brain.

Tigress crept up to him, summoning the power of her vocal chords to increase her attractiveness. **"******Asshole.******" **She started.

The white tiger turned his head in slow motion. Sick mode starts playing in the background, the beat was sustained by a farmer.

She sang from the bottom of her heart. "_Dick me down. Bootyhole. That's when you already know. I'm a queer. My dog would probably rape you 'till ya booty melt. That's just all he knows, he don;t know nothin' else. I tried to blow him. I tried to blow him…"_

The beat starts to go faster.

Tigress started making gang signs. "Spread the cheeks, lick the booty hole. Young La' Flame, he in dicko mode."

Den dun dun den dun dun den (there was a beat switch).

"_(Woo!) Big round rear, oh yes I like to send 'em nudes_

_Yeah the gays outside, he like to fuck until we loose_

_Yeah, dildo boys, that's dildo practice with the lube_

_That dick way too big, when we pull up send me the nudes_

_(Send me the nudes!)_

_I jerked his jimmy, I rubbed his hooves_

_Had to grab my own towel to clean the lube_

_Booty always locked down, the cum shoot_

_Now it's 4 AM and them backshots is feeling coo'_

_I just sucked your man, slurping up the cock like Jamba Juice_

_Different colored cocks, so that penis probably looking new_

_And I'm chokin', man, know them women wish they was a dude_

_Some-some-someone said_

_To swallow the meat, the dick must go deep_

_Pl-Pl-Playin' with me, let me tickle the feet (Someone said)_

_To swallow the meat, the dick must go deep_

_Pl-Pl-Playin' with me, let me tickle the feet_

_Yeah, this shit way too normal, y'all know I might suck the crew_

_Big round ass, most of these butts don't have a clue_

_All of these hoes I fucked with semen I produced_

_I might take all this booty and put it all in a group_

_Hit my eses, they send me nudes_

_'Bout to turn this orgy to dick and poop_

_Told 'em "Hop in, we fucking too"_

_On the anal side, livas suck me 'till the cum shoot_

_(Don't stop, lick that booty!)_

_Had to throw my top off, we gettin' loose_

_He said, "Where you goin'?" I said, "The room"_

_Then he grabbed me, then my booty groomed_

_He thought it was the ocean, it's just the lube_

_Now I gotta open, he sending nudes_

_Who put this dick together? I'm the glue_

_Someone said_

_livas straight fucked me then I pooped_

_Someone said_

_Pl-Pl-Playin' with me_

_Someone said, motherfucker—someone said_

_Let me tickle the feet_

_Yah!_

_Asshole, yeah, yeah_

_Tay Keith, suck these livas up!_

_Look, ayy"_

Tigress stopped and realized that her and the white tiger were now in vegas in a room filled with male strippers. She shrugged, and attempted to finish her mating song until the white tiger placed a finger on her lips.

_And he sang this:_

"_He's in love with who I am_

_Back in high school, used to jerk him with my hands_

_Now I hit that orgy sex with condoms in my hand_

_I did half a Xan, now I'm poundin' on my man_

_Had me out like a light (ayy, yeah)_

_Like a light (ayy, yeah)_

_Like a light, ayy_

_Slept through the pipe, ayy_

_Knocked for the night, 767, man_

_This shit got double wedgies, man_

_I still got dick to settle, man_

_I smashed on the block_

_Made a right_

_Cut the lights, raped me twice_

_livas think I'm straight, it's on sight_

_Nothin' nice, booty lookin' right_

_Jesus Christ, dicks over rice_

_That's what I like, that's what we like_

_Lost my respect, that booty wet_

_When I suck the cock, I get wetty with my neck_

_See the cock that I took, that had me shook_

_Jerk on his jimmy_

_I be on the cock, milly rock 'til I'm dizzy (Eh, yeah)_

_Like where is he? (Fuck yeah)_

_No one seen him (Ah, yeah)_

_I'm tryna skeet 'em_

_He's in love with who I am_

_Back in high school, used to jerk him with my hands_

_Now I hit that orgy sex with condoms in my hand_

_I did half a Xan, now I'm poundin' on my man_

_Had me out like a light (Like a light)_

_Like a light (Like a light)_

_Like a light (Like a light)_

_Like a light_

_Yeah, passing cocks_

_I'm steady lickin' dicks and getting wise_

_Yeah, he said he got that "Booty locked"_

_I know our booty tight, yeah_

_It's absolute, my booty loose_

_Lotta penis, we eatin' two, yeah_

_We back on the dick, we ride that cock until we poop, yeah_

_Shawty in the back_

_He said his booty like a nuke, ayy_

_Ain't what it look, my booty shook_

_Throwing neck, the booty cook, yeah_

_Pass it to the homie, yeah that penis got me hooked_

_Baby daddy at my house, got his baby mother shook_

_Yeah."_

They were about to do it, when Tigress scurtinized one of the male stippers that surrounded them. It was Po! He was undercover as a male prostitute for Donald Trump to take down the super corporation that was America, and bring back the trillions of dollars they owe.

"Po!" Tigress yelled. She pushed the white tiger, and launched for Po. But it was too late. Po skadooshed himself. Tigress stole a scooter and scootered her way back to china. She needed to get back to Po since she had to apologize for cheating After 12 seconds, she made it back. But her left ankle was really swollen and it wasnt sexy at all. Tigress decided that she wanted to look sexy, so she stole another scooter and went back to America to go to Victoria's secret to buy some lingerie.

When she was shopping, she bumped into the White Tiger again.

They locked eyes. Their eyes were glinting under the red lighting. They made an intimate conversation.

_"Bro's on yo block with that Glock, right now_

_Try me like an Opp and indeed, get shot down_

_She wanna, X wanna"_The white tiger said.

**"**_You wanna? L-l-lick my dick like a what? Nice!_

_Lick my dick like Lil Wayne lollypop, huh!_

_Hi, my name's Ryan!_

_What do they call me? Wolf in sheep skin"_Tigress said.

The white tiger's mouth went wide, and he screamed, "_Try me, might fight_

_Fist fuck, on sight_

_Wrist heavy, ******_

_Pop Molly, Mike Ike_

_I got glacial white ice_

_And my bitch rack nice_

_And I do fight ****_

_Ride my dick like a bike"_

They were kicked out of Victoria's Secret because many of the customers that were fathers were jerking off to their conversation with their little daughters watching them in horror.

Then they went to central park and biked around. While they biked around, they held hands and sang together. **"**_I got black in my voots_

_My name Toby, like I'm Roots_

_Grab that bat, Babe Ruth_

_Swing that bitch might lose a tooth_

_She suck dick with no tooth_

_My nose runny like "achoo"_

_With that pussy, I got coins_

_Might insert right in her groin_

_It's like jelly, ayy_

_Dick right in her belly, uh, yuh_

_Baby got back, yuh_

_Bitch, come look at my tats, uh, yuh_

_You got taxed, yuh_

_My head lookin' like Bratz, uh, yuh_

_Dump that bitch, yuh_

_Who gonna hold my racks, uh, huh"_

While they sang this, a rainbow cut across the sky.

They hid under a bush and the white tiger sang Safe and sound, while they were partaking in the beautiful art of assuaging libidos. Tigress's interior sphincter is worn down by attrition of friction.

**(Second Person)**

You are a pig concubine.

You will arrive to the Jade Palace. You will help Po by having his baby and singing the entire Justin Biber discography. Actually, you will not sing his songs, but recite it in a monotone voice much like Siri's. You will do this because Po will like it.

**(First person pov. (Po's pov))**

Im very sad

**(Second person pov)**

You will notice that Po is very sad when you arrive at his room. But suddenly, you will not care if he is sad. You will steal his chi staff and run away. He will catch up with you, but you will head but his nut. Then you will think of a plan. But before you can make a plan, Shifu will attack you. You will have to sing in order to defeat the rat.

**"_Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Baby shark!_**

**_Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Mommy shark!_**

**_Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Daddy shark!_**

**_Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Grandma shark!_**

**_Grandpa shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Grandpa shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Grandpa shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Grandpa shark!_**

**_Let's go hunt, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Let's go hunt, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Let's go hunt, doo doo doo doo doo doo_**

**_Let's go hunt!_**

**_Run away,…"_**

But this song will not work because Shifu does not understand english. So you will have to bitchslap your way out of there. You will begin to lose, until Oogway arrives.

Oogway will sing the clean version of X Gon Give it to Yah:

**"Arf arf**

**_Yeah, yeah, yeah (Grrrr)_**

**_Uh, Yeah don't get it twisted_**

**_This rap shit, is mine_**

**_Motherfucker, it's not, a fucking, game_**

**_Fuck what you heard_**

**_It's what you hearin_**

**_It's what you hearin (Listen)_**

**_It's what you hearin (Listen)_**

**_It's what you hearin (Listen)_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_Fuck wait for you to get it on your own_**

**_X gon deliver to ya_**

**_Knock knock, open up the door, it's real_**

**_Wit the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel_**

**_Go hard gettin busy wit it_**

**_But I got such a good heart_**

**_I'll make a motherfucker wonder if he did it_**

**_Damn right and I'll do it again_**

**_Cuz I am right so I gots to win_**

**_Break break wit the enemy_**

**_But no matter how many cats I break bread wit_**

**_I'll break who you sendin me_**

**_You motherfucker never wanted nothin_**

**_But your wife said, that's for the light day_**

**_I'm gettin down, down_**

**_Make it say freeze_**

**_But won't be the one endin up on his knees (Whoo)_**

**_Please, If the only thing you cats did is come out to play_**

**_Get out my way_**

**_First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL_**

**_Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL_**

**_Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_Ain't never gave nothin to me_**

**_But everytime I turn around_**

**_Cats got they hands out wantin something from me_**

**_I ain't got it so you can't get it_**

**_Lets leave it at that cuz I ain't wit it_**

**_Hit it wit full strength_**

**_I'm a jail livas_**

**_So I face the world like it's Earl in the bullpen_**

**_You against me, me against you_**

**_Whatever, whenever_**

**_What the fuck you gon do?_**

**_I'm a wool fin sheep clothing_**

**_Only livas that you know that can chill_**

**_Come back and get the streets open_**

**_I've been doing this for nineteen years_**

**_Wanna fight me? Fight these tears_**

**_I put in work and it's all for the kids_**

**_But these cats done forgot what work is (UH-HUH!)_**

**_They don't know who we be_**

**_Lookin! but they don't know who they see_**

**_First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL_**

**_Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_First we gonna ROCK, Then we gonna ROLL_**

**_Then we let it POP, GO LET IT GO_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_X gon give it to ya_**

**_He gon give it to ya_**

**_Aiiyo where my livasz at?!_**

**_I know I got them down in the game_**

**_Give em love and they give it back_**

**_Talk to much for to long"_**

While Oogway sings this, he will carry the whole peach tree off the ground and will shake it. 22 peaches exactly will fall to the ground, and since Shifu is very short, he will drown in the fruit. You will scream joy, and you will hug Oogway. Oogway will hug you back, but Po will interrupt the session with a huge swing of his arm. The punch will be so powerful that it will yeet Oogway back to the spirit realm absolutely fucking shell shocked, and you will fly to America where you will land on a house that is holding a mormon party.

Third person pov

Po looked at his bloody knuckles. He stood and saved Shifu from drowning from peaches. But since he smelled like Peaches, Po thought Shifu was food and ate him. While his bowels handled such a large digestion, Po went back to the hall of warriors.

He participated in a sword fight tournament, so Po took several bottles of Viagra for preparation. During the pre-party, he took a bowl of mom's spaghetti and rubbed it seductively across his ample bosom attentively. He looked directly at the camera, guitars and beats start playing in the background loudly:

**"Look**

**_If you had_**

**_One shot_**

**_Or one opportunity_**

**_To seize everything you ever wanted_**

**_In one moment_**

**_Would you capture it_**

**_Or just let it slip?_**

**_Yo_**

**_His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy_**

**_There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti_**

**_He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready_**

**_To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'_**

**_What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud_**

**_He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out_**

**_He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now_**

**_The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!_**

**_Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity_**

**_Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked_**

**_He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No_**

**_He won't have it, he knows his whole back city's ropes_**

**_It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke_**

**_He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his mobile home, that's when its_**

**_Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody_**

**_He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him_**

**_You better lose yourself in the music, the moment_**

**_You own it, you better never let it go_**

**_You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_**

**_This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better_**

**_You better lose yourself in the music, the moment_**

**_You own it, you better never let it go_**

**_You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_**

**_This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better_**

**_The souls escaping, through this hole that its gaping_**

**_This world is mine for the taking_**

**_Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order_**

**_A normal life is borin', but super stardom's close to post mortar_**

**_It only grows harder, only grows hotter_**

**_He blows us all over these hoes is all on him_**

**_Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetrotter_**

**_Lonely roads, God only knows, he's grown farther from home, he's no father_**

**_He goes home and barely knows his own daughter_**

**_But hold your nose 'cause here goes the cold water_**

**_His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product_**

**_They moved on to the next schmo who flows, he nose dove and sold nada_**

**_So the soap opera is told and unfolds, I suppose it's old partna, but the beat goes on_**

**_Da da dumb da dumb da da_**

**_You better lose yourself in the music, the moment_**

**_You own it, you better never let it go_**

**_You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_**

**_This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better_**

**_You better lose yourself in the music, the moment_**

**_You own it, you better never let it go_**

**_You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_**

**_This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better_**

**_No more games, I'm a change what you call rage_**

**_Tear this motherfuckin' roof off like two dogs caged_**

**_I was playin' in the beginnin', the mood all changed_**

**_I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage_**

**_But I kept rhymin' and stepwritin' the next cipher_**

**_Best believe somebody's payin' the pied piper_**

**_All the pain inside amplified by the_**

**_Fact that I can't get by with my nine to_**

**_Five and I can't provide the right type of_**

**_Life for my family 'cause man, these God damn food stamps don't buy diapers_**

**_And its no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer_**

**_This is my life and these times are so hard_**

**_And it's getting even harder tryin' to feed and water my seed, plus_**

**_See dishonor caught up between bein' a father and a prima-donna_**

**_Baby mama drama screamin' on and too much_**

**_For me to want to say in one spot, another jam or not_**

**_Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got_**

**_To formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot_**

**_Success is my only motherfuckin' option, failures not_**

**_Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go, I cannot grow old in Salem's lot_**

**_So here I go is my shot_**

**_Feet fail me not 'cause maybe the only opportunity that I got_**

**_You better lose yourself in the music, the moment_**

**_You own it, you better never let it go_**

**_You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_**

**_This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better_**

**_You better lose yourself in the music, the moment_**

**_You own it, you better never let it go_**

**_You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow_**

**_This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better"_**

At the end of the competition, Po only won a participation medal for the sword fight. That does not mean however that he does not have the biggest balls. He was just a bit inexperienced. In the crowd, he saw Tigress and the White Tiger holding hands. He raged, swung his sword, made a spark on shen's cannon, and a cannonball was shot to the couple. Zoom! This time, Tigress did not push the white tiger aside. So the white tiger was swept off his feet, literally and figuratively. The cannon ball pushed him over yonder.

With the speed of the cannon, the white tiger could orbit the earth once before landing. But since the earth is flat, he is pushed into outer space.

Tigress and Po locked eyes. Walked to each other. Very slowly. So that they have time to sing all the disney love songs before they could touch.

-the end

A/N

Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this songfic. This took me a few months of planning. I worked really hard on this because i really love tipo and ti/white tiger. I hope there are no spelling mistakes :U. I let my mom and dad check my fic before posting, but even they missed a few mistakes.

This is directly linked to my story To the Weeping River. I am very serious about subplots!

This is a joke btw. Pls continue reading my other fanfictions

Songs: Wolves, Dicko Mode, Yung Bratz, X Gon Give it to yah, Lose Yourself


End file.
